a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
Randomize
