halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
Even the bartender felt bad for me
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
i need to put some appletini on your dick
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
Randomize