where does the pee come out of this thing
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
