you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
