Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
Three words: puerto rican gang bang
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
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