i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize
