vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
