I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
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