Christians are straight up FREAKS
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
Randomize
