I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize
