Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
