12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
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