i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
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