I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
