yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
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