We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
