i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Randomize
