What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Randomize