I think scott just propositioned me for sex
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
Randomize
