Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
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