I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
Randomize
