My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Randomize
