No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Randomize
