??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
We need to rekindle our bromance
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
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