Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
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