Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
I skipped work to stalk him.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
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