I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Randomize
