brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
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