Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
I miss vodka workout Fridays
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
