Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize