"it" just moved
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Randomize
