what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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