it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
Randomize
