apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize
