I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Randomize
