Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
Randomize
