chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
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