I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
Be still, my beating vagina.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
I need a burrito and a hug.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
Randomize
