Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
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