I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
