Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
Randomize
