this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
Randomize
