Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Randomize
