He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize
