Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Randomize
