I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
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