He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Randomize
