i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
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