i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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