So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
Randomize
