I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
Randomize
