She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
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