If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
Randomize
