I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize