why didn't you poke me back
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
She announced her abortion via fbk
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
