I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
smell my finger.
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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