It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
Randomize