I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
Randomize
