He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
