I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
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